Passionate Intensity
ABANDONMENT| I was
not done with being your child; I was still learning to love. And it's all very well to say I hold you in my heart and that you teach me still by memory and by the code that forms my flesh. But there's an emptiness too vast for my embrace. Sometimes, I see your spectre on the street or seated with a cup of tea at hand and, staggering with loss, I move to take you in my arms, to fit my cheek into the hollow of your neck and place my bulk between the world and your fragility. But I cannot make you mine. I cannot follow you or bring you back or, for my sins, bestow your essence on another. I could not have kept you, ought not to bear the guilt that taints my aimless grief, do not begrudge you your release. I let you go and let you go and let you go. On my deathbed I shall forgive you. |
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